Working in a record store is everyone’s dream job right? Listen to the best new and old tunes all day, watch in store performances whilst getting paid, utilise that staff discount on as much wax you can afford and beers for lunch.

So working in one of the prodigal kings of record stores, should deal me no gripes right? Well here’s a few minor and MAJOR irritants for record store staff. Take note consumer. 

This is for a present so can you maybe wrap it with something please?

Yeah mate no problem ever since WH Smiths bought shares in our record shop we just love to wrap your gifts for you. 

Do you have the new 5 Seconds of Summer album? What?! No? Where else can I find it?

I think my little sister has a spare copy mate? But if not do you want me to call every other record store in London and ask?

Do you have any vinyl for under a tenner? No I mean a big one?

How much did your lunch cost today? Yeah nah all our LPs are worth more than a BLT I’m afraid. 

The-put-it-back-where-I-will-shopper

What a joy it is spending half your day looking for missing stock so next time you pick up a Burial record and decide against buying it, maybe just maybe, you could think twice before dumping it in South American/Latin.

The-let’s-get-my-friend-to-take-a-super-cool-photo-of-me-shopping-for-vinyl-but-just-buy-a-CD-shopper

This is definitely me being a snob but listening to vinyl does not make you cool and pretending to do so in front of the world of social media is just criminal when you’ve never even experienced the sound of a needle falling into that first groove of your new Nick Drake LP.

The-three-pound-tax-reclaim-shopper

So apparently if you’re foreign in the UK you don’t have to pay tax on a lot of things. For example if you buy over £30 worth of music you can claim it back when you leave the country. Sounds worth it right? Not when the poor shop assistant has to fill out lengthy form after lengthy form for you to claim 3 quid back at the airport IF you haven’t lost them all by the time you get there. I lived abroad for two years and never once bothered with all that hassle. Live a little you’re on holiday!

Anyway rant over; not half because I wrote this on the way home from work on the day after New Year’s still on a massive comedown and looking back it seems a touch ungrateful but the points still stand and the fact remains that it’s not all shits and giggles in the modern day record store.

-Stan R