The 15 Worst Things About Music Of 2017

  • The 15 Worst Things About Music Of 2017
    POSTED

    We've already listed the best things that happened this year so let's go forth with the worst.

    The Chainsmokers' Debut Album

    It's a brave move to call your album Memories...Do Not Open because the directive is right there in the title. "Do not open," is the advice that everyone should've taken because this is a real stinker of an album. In fact, it was so poor that it's not even fun to hate on The Chainsmokers anymore which was one of our favourite activities circa 2016. 

    Katy Perry's Bizarre Road To Witness

    Where do you even start with Katy Perry's 2017? She entered the year having one of the most anticipated returns to the scene as one of the biggest popstars in the world and then it all came apart at the seams. She declared herself to be "woke" but then made racist jokes about Obama and got Migos, who made homophobic remarks earlier in the year, on one of her singles with it all culminating in chart flop after flop. None of the singles on the album reached number one which is pretty huge for an artist who once managed five of one album. Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse she locked herself in a house for 72 hours and broadcast it online. 

    The Lack Of Females On The Top Of The Charts

    It got better as the year went on with big releases by P!NK, Taylor Swift and Camila Cabello but they were the only three solo females who topped the charts in Australia in 2017. That means females only spent a total of seven weeks at the top of the charts this year. It wasn't just in Australia where it was a problem either. There were only three in the UK (Dua Lipa, Camila Cabello and Taylor Swift) and in the US Cardi B and Taylor Swift were the only ones to hit number one. 

    All The Legends We Lost

    2017 took some of the biggest musical legends and pioneers from us. We tragically lost Soundgarden frontman Chris Cornell and Linkin Park frontman Chester Bennington earlier in the year, leaving a noticeable hole in the worldwide rock scene. Rock also lost two of its biggest icons in Tom Petty and AC/DC's Malcolm Young who both passed this year. The loss of Lil Peep and Mobb Deep's Prodigy further rocked the hip-hop community. RIP. All the names mentioned above left their mark on the music community in immeasurable ways. 

    Justin Bieber Having No Idea What The Words To Despacito Are

    Justin Bieber's remix of Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee's Despacito was arguably the biggest song of the year and yet Bieber CBF'd to learn the lyrics outside of the chorus. He kept getting asked to recreate it but he just kept spinning jibberish instead. The rest of us have attempted to learn it, why can't you?

    Eminem's Lacklustre Return

    There was a long lead-up of hype for Eminem's comeback album Revival but it wasn't really worth it. The lengthy project shows Em at his most political but also his most paranoid, constantly questioning his worth as a rapper. Despite nabbing guests like Beyoncé, Ed Sheeran and Kehlani, he just didn't really leave the mark he wanted too.

    The Nicki Minaj And Remy Ma Feud

    We're as bored as Nicki Minaj is with the Remy Ma feud. Ma fired shots at Nicki with Sheether earlier in the year and followed it up with a bunch of other diss tracks while Minaj decided to make hits instead. She clocked a hit with her feud track No Frauds and also took shots on 2 Chainz Realize. We're ready to put it to rest but it doesn't seem like Ma is.

    The Nicki Minaj And Cardi B Feud

    People wanted this feud to be real so much this year that the pair constantly had to shut down rumours that there was a feud. They exchanged pleasantries with Cardi hit number one with Bodak Yellow, appeared on the same track together (Migos' Motorsport) and eventually decided that they could share a kiss and people would still say there was a feud.

    Taylor Swift's Album Cover

    The cover for Taylor Swift's Reputation suggested the album would be a nightmare before it was even released. It turns out it wasn't a nightmare but it still doesn't change the fact that the cover looks like something you'd wrap your fish and chips in.

    There Was No Kanye

    It was a rocky year for Kanye. After cancelling his Pablo tour and being admitted to hospital in 2016, he remained largely quiet this year. There were rumours that he was working on an album with everyone from Migos to Kid Cudi but he didn't release one single solo track this year. Instead, he tinkered away quietly on his Yeezy clothing range. We can't help but think he's working on something huge for 2018.

    XXXTentacion Somehow Had A Good Year On The Charts

    The week Pitchfork published a detail report about XXXTenatacion's alleged aggravated battery of a pregnant woman, the rap newcomer nabbed a number two album on the US Billboard 200. He was jailed last week facing even more charges than he was originally but this problem is larger than him. Alleged abusers can still draw support from radio play to streaming placements in this industry and that needs to change immediately. 

    Fyre Festival

    What else can be said about this Ja Rule-affiliated music festival. It was meant to be a lux event for rich kids and Instagrammers and instead became one of the most ill-fated music festivals in history. The organiser William McFarland has been charged (and released on $300,000 bail) with wire fraud, the company has declared bankruptcy and he's allegedly back living with his parents. A catastrophic disaster.

    Great Records Were Snubbed For Grammys

    The Grammys recognised some phenomenal records this year including Lorde's Melodrama, Kendrick Lamar's DAMN. and SZA's CTRL but there were still some that deserved nominations and missed out. Paramore's After Laughter was one of the year's best and yet completely missed out. The same goes for Stormzy's Gang Signs & Prayer which spread grime even further internationally this year. 

    Vampire Weekend's Album Still Isn't Here

    It's now been four years since Modern Vampires Of The City and we still don't have a new Vampire Weekend record. Earlier in the year we heard that it was 80 per cent done but we haven't really had many updates since. 

    Nikki Webster's 2017 Reboot Of Strawberry Kisses

    If it ain't broke don't fix it. Strawberry Kisses is an early '00s classic and Nikki Webster attempted to undo all her hard work this year with a redo of the track featuring radio presenter and TV personality Sam Mac. The whole thing is a bloody disaster to put it bluntly. If anything, it made us go back and listen to the original, so we guess that's a good thing. 

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We've already listed the best things that happened this year so let's go forth with the worst.

The Chainsmokers' Debut Album

It's a brave move to call your album Memories...Do Not Open because the directive is right there in the title. "Do not open," is the advice that everyone should've taken because this is a real stinker of an album. In fact, it was so poor that it's not even fun to hate on The Chainsmokers anymore which was one of our favourite activities circa 2016. 

Katy Perry's Bizarre Road To Witness

Where do you even start with Katy Perry's 2017? She entered the year having one of the most anticipated returns to the scene as one of the biggest popstars in the world and then it all came apart at the seams. She declared herself to be "woke" but then made racist jokes about Obama and got Migos, who made homophobic remarks earlier in the year, on one of her singles with it all culminating in chart flop after flop. None of the singles on the album reached number one which is pretty huge for an artist who once managed five of one album. Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse she locked herself in a house for 72 hours and broadcast it online. 

The Lack Of Females On The Top Of The Charts

It got better as the year went on with big releases by P!NK, Taylor Swift and Camila Cabello but they were the only three solo females who topped the charts in Australia in 2017. That means females only spent a total of seven weeks at the top of the charts this year. It wasn't just in Australia where it was a problem either. There were only three in the UK (Dua Lipa, Camila Cabello and Taylor Swift) and in the US Cardi B and Taylor Swift were the only ones to hit number one. 

All The Legends We Lost

2017 took some of the biggest musical legends and pioneers from us. We tragically lost Soundgarden frontman Chris Cornell and Linkin Park frontman Chester Bennington earlier in the year, leaving a noticeable hole in the worldwide rock scene. Rock also lost two of its biggest icons in Tom Petty and AC/DC's Malcolm Young who both passed this year. The loss of Lil Peep and Mobb Deep's Prodigy further rocked the hip-hop community. RIP. All the names mentioned above left their mark on the music community in immeasurable ways. 

Justin Bieber Having No Idea What The Words To Despacito Are

Justin Bieber's remix of Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee's Despacito was arguably the biggest song of the year and yet Bieber CBF'd to learn the lyrics outside of the chorus. He kept getting asked to recreate it but he just kept spinning jibberish instead. The rest of us have attempted to learn it, why can't you?

Eminem's Lacklustre Return

There was a long lead-up of hype for Eminem's comeback album Revival but it wasn't really worth it. The lengthy project shows Em at his most political but also his most paranoid, constantly questioning his worth as a rapper. Despite nabbing guests like Beyoncé, Ed Sheeran and Kehlani, he just didn't really leave the mark he wanted too.

The Nicki Minaj And Remy Ma Feud

We're as bored as Nicki Minaj is with the Remy Ma feud. Ma fired shots at Nicki with Sheether earlier in the year and followed it up with a bunch of other diss tracks while Minaj decided to make hits instead. She clocked a hit with her feud track No Frauds and also took shots on 2 Chainz Realize. We're ready to put it to rest but it doesn't seem like Ma is.

The Nicki Minaj And Cardi B Feud

People wanted this feud to be real so much this year that the pair constantly had to shut down rumours that there was a feud. They exchanged pleasantries with Cardi hit number one with Bodak Yellow, appeared on the same track together (Migos' Motorsport) and eventually decided that they could share a kiss and people would still say there was a feud.

Taylor Swift's Album Cover

The cover for Taylor Swift's Reputation suggested the album would be a nightmare before it was even released. It turns out it wasn't a nightmare but it still doesn't change the fact that the cover looks like something you'd wrap your fish and chips in.

There Was No Kanye

It was a rocky year for Kanye. After cancelling his Pablo tour and being admitted to hospital in 2016, he remained largely quiet this year. There were rumours that he was working on an album with everyone from Migos to Kid Cudi but he didn't release one single solo track this year. Instead, he tinkered away quietly on his Yeezy clothing range. We can't help but think he's working on something huge for 2018.

XXXTentacion Somehow Had A Good Year On The Charts

The week Pitchfork published a detail report about XXXTenatacion's alleged aggravated battery of a pregnant woman, the rap newcomer nabbed a number two album on the US Billboard 200. He was jailed last week facing even more charges than he was originally but this problem is larger than him. Alleged abusers can still draw support from radio play to streaming placements in this industry and that needs to change immediately. 

Fyre Festival

What else can be said about this Ja Rule-affiliated music festival. It was meant to be a lux event for rich kids and Instagrammers and instead became one of the most ill-fated music festivals in history. The organiser William McFarland has been charged (and released on $300,000 bail) with wire fraud, the company has declared bankruptcy and he's allegedly back living with his parents. A catastrophic disaster.

Great Records Were Snubbed For Grammys

The Grammys recognised some phenomenal records this year including Lorde's Melodrama, Kendrick Lamar's DAMN. and SZA's CTRL but there were still some that deserved nominations and missed out. Paramore's After Laughter was one of the year's best and yet completely missed out. The same goes for Stormzy's Gang Signs & Prayer which spread grime even further internationally this year. 

Vampire Weekend's Album Still Isn't Here

It's now been four years since Modern Vampires Of The City and we still don't have a new Vampire Weekend record. Earlier in the year we heard that it was 80 per cent done but we haven't really had many updates since. 

Nikki Webster's 2017 Reboot Of Strawberry Kisses

If it ain't broke don't fix it. Strawberry Kisses is an early '00s classic and Nikki Webster attempted to undo all her hard work this year with a redo of the track featuring radio presenter and TV personality Sam Mac. The whole thing is a bloody disaster to put it bluntly. If anything, it made us go back and listen to the original, so we guess that's a good thing. 

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