So our dear friend St Jerome released the set times for Melbourne’s edition of Laneway Festival earlier today and considering the sheer bulk of talent announced there were always gonna be clashes but ever since first laying eyes on the run sheet my brain has been working overtime on a schedule which allows me to see my desirables. This is what I’ve come up with allowing five minutes for the commute:

• Autre Ne Veut from 1:15 to 1:40 (25 mins)
• Cass McCombs from 1:45 to 2:05 (20 mins)
• Kirin J Callinan from 2:10 to 2:30 (20 mins)
• Youth Lagoon from 2:35 to 3:15 (40 mins!)
• *Beer break.*
• Savages from 3:30 to 3:50 (20 mins)
• XXYYXX from 3:55 to 4:20 (25 mins)
• *Beer break.*
• Unknown Mortal Orchestra from 4:35 to 4:55 (20 mins)
• Cloud Control from 5:00 to 5:35 (35 mins!)
• CHVRCHES from 5:45 to 6:00 (15 mins)
• Mount Kimbie from 6:05 to 6:25 (20 mins)
• Daughter from 6:30 to 6:45 (15 mins)
• Jagwar Ma from 6:55 to 7:10 (15 mins)
• Haim from 7:15 to 7:25 (10 mins)
• Earl Sweatshirt from 7:30 to 7:50 (20 mins)
• *Beer break.*
• Jamie XX from 8:05 to 8:25 (20 mins)
• Danny Brown from 8:30 to 8:45 (15 mins)
• King Krule from 8:50 to 9:05 (15 mins)
• Four Tet from 9:15 to 9:35 (20 mins)
• Warpaint from 9:40 to 9:55 (15 mins)
• Frightened Rabbit from 10:00 to 10:20 (20 mins)
• *Collapse in a heap on the floor.*

This is a totally ambitious and greedy schedule that I’ve set but it’ll be real, real hard to miss any of these. And that’s not even accounting for the likes of The Jezabels, Lorde, Kurt Vile, Parquet Courts, Vance Joy, Cashmere Cat and Dick Diver. We live in a day and age where economy is everything and of course putting a single day festival on is more affordable but some of the clashes here make for decisions that us mere mortals shouldn’t have to comprehend. Looks like I best get down the gym aye?

-Stan R